Monthly Archives: October 2014

Just Let Go

391087_10200553021141801_1148239917_nIt feels so empowering to witness magic as it manifests within and around you. That has been my experience recently because, I just let go.

I let go of all preconceived notions of who I had allowed myself to believe I needed to be, and gave myself permission to become the person I truly am.

I let go of self-doubt, feelings of lack, and old patterns of unworthiness that continued to plague me. Though they were not the formidable force they once were, I still gave them power to hold me back from stepping fully into my capabilities.

I let go of trying to balance my hopeful ideals with the negative activities of those who promote and participate in violence.

I let go of who I thought I needed to be because I was comparing myself to others who are doing what I think I want or need to be doing or being!! Acckk! What suffocating, limiting and self-imposed beliefs of the person I once was.

I let go because the ways I was trying to help in the world were twisting me up inside and creating a feeling of despair and failure. I was not being fed. I was being depleted and it felt like the life-force was being sucked out of me.

 …

When I took a step back and focused on the direction of my life as an activist these past few years, I realized I needed to let go of  following an agenda that other like-minded folks follow.

So, I let go of internalizing the global violence I have come to know about. It’s a painful process to witness the inhumanity of man and experience the frustration and helplessness that accompanies it. The inevitable question always surfaced – “But what can I do that makes a difference?”. There was never a viable answer that brought change to the daily lives of those oppressed.

I needed to open my heart and spirit to the creative process of redefining myself, how I relate to the world, and how I can be of most service to those voices that need to be heard and acknowledged.

I needed to begin to listen for my own rhythm.

I needed to dance to the beat of my own drum.

I needed to allow the true me to surface and shine, and then see what doors appear before me and actually begin to open.

So I did, I just let go.

I always talk about the magic in synchronicity, and now it’s time to give rise to the synchronicity that appears on my path and walk my talk.

I make a new choice to stand strong in love and gratitude.

I make a new choice to highlight and support the nurturing and loving aspects of the human spirit.

I make a new choice to remind others of what we are capable of, instead of what we are conditioned to accept as inevitable truth.

I make a choice to promote healing, and beauty, and kindness, and hope, and support, and compassion, and building community, and respect.

I make a choice to fly high, like the graceful hawk, and view life from the perspective that sees the endless possibilities of productive change, not only the twisted, fearful mess that our culture perpetuates and continues to impose on us.

I make a choice to let go of negativity, drama, and fear to make more room for life’s treasures of love, friendship, assistance, guidance, support, inner personal growth, and the healing and growth of my extended human family.

Like the leaves falling from their lofty perches and making their way to the waiting breast of the Earth Mother, I just let go and allow myself the life-changing opportunity to be embraced by the new path and new life of beauty that await the new me.

 

The first day of the rest of my life….

IMG_1170Have you ever had something happen in your life that turned everything upside down? Of course you have. I have too, but somehow this time is different. Maybe because I’m older and feel like time is running out? Or maybe, because it’s just time to stop and decide what’s really important, to me, right now.

That’s where I keep getting stuck. There is an enormous list of all of the things that hold importance to me. Peace, human rights, social justice, protection of the earth, to name a few. But where do I fit in now? What can I contribute to the whole? How can I best serve myself and humanity?

Peace activism, nonviolence training, mentoring women, support of veterans rights and voices, women’s ritual and ceremony all hold a special place in my heart and have for several years now. Enormous energy has been expended for the cause and we still face increasing global violence and war. Have I made any difference at all? Am I focused on what is really important to me? Do I even know what is really important to me? Something is missing. I am missing.

So, I ask myself, “What is it that I want to do for the rest of my life?” That sounds pretty huge! Maybe I should begin with, what is it that I want to do for the next chapter in my life? So, I made a list of all of the projects/activities that I have thought about getting more involved in. I grabbed my trusty yellow highlighter and decided to highlight the things that made my heart sing just from seeing the words. Guess what?

Travel. I want to travel and journal and take photographs to document my journeys. Not exactly a novel idea, but one that grabs my heart and says, “Let’s go!”. And I believe I shall.

Now, I get to decide where to go first and what to do when I get there.